Search - 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

I've been searching even before I knew anything was lost.

Not lost necessarily, but not fully present either. In my mind I had this picture of what it'd be like to have your first child say their first words. It's what all the books talk about, right? That milestone first word. The word that you pass on through stories and in laughter around the table with family and friends. The first word that sparks joy and wonder at such a small person uttering a word.

My mom still recounts my first word - mulch.

Honestly, now, I can't even remember what word Charlotte spoke first. We waited for so long for her first words that by the time she did say a word our celebrations looked different. Celebrations always tinged with sadness at what we weren't hearing.

If only a key could be used to unlock the words inside of her. To have them come flooding out as if they were always spoken.

Some days it feels as if the key with all the answers has been tossed into the ocean, never to be found again.

Some days, however, I forget the search and simply marvel at my daughter. At her life, her joy, her laughter, her love for her brother. And I don't need to look any further.

The words are there. Some being spoken now and some waiting to be unearthed.


**All month I'll be participating in 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes. Each day I'll take some time (sometimes 5 minutes and sometimes a little more) to sit down and write. It's about the discipline of writing each day. It's about listening to the words from within. It's about letting creativity work in me. I'll share my writing at some point during the day on my blog. Thanks for reading.