Comfort - 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes
I can’t seem to get rid of it.
The dark pink sweater jacket lays stuffed in my bottom dresser drawer. It’s within reach every time I open the drawer. Sometimes I take the time to fold it nicely. Other times I leave it scrunched into the drawer barely able to close. The original intent when it was gifted to me was that it could be reversible and worn with a variety of options. Yet it instantly morphed into my comfy sweater jacket worn on evenings at home. I always wear the softer side on the inside feeling its warmth and comfort.
My mom gave me the sweater the Christmas after my daughter’s birth - she was 1 month old on Christmas Eve. In the midst of those early weeks I barely left home. The newborn haze consisted of feeding, sleeping, more feeding, diapers, and long stretches of time on the couch feeding and sleeping. Getting dressed was a luxury I didn’t indulge in too often. Rather, I stayed in my comfortable clothes. Pajama tops and bottoms, yoga pants, t-shirts (especially the Thrivent Live Generously ones), and my newly-gifted pink sweater jacket.
As the days passed and my newborn daughter grew, I too, grew as a mother. With each new experience and victory as a new mom, the sweater was with me. As Charlotte cuddled on my chest sound asleep she felt the warmth of that sweater. When I’d stumble to her crib for a 3 am feeding she’d feel that sweater’s warmth as I picked her up. When we both were consumed with tears I’d feel the comfort of the sweater and hope she would too.
The sweater not only provided warmth, but a sense of belonging.
The sweater came to me when I needed something to give me comfort. A time when I needed the reminder that I could be a good mother. That I was a good mother. That I had what I needed inside of me.
That I was surrounded in love.
It’s almost winter again. As the temperatures begin to drop I’m looking forward to getting out the pink sweater once again. There’s a rip in the sleeve. A few food stains that won’t come out. But it’s warmth and comfort still exist. The sweater has now wrapped two babies in its warmth. The sweater has seen me grow into a mother of two.
I can’t seem to get rid of it. Perhaps it’ll see my through the elementary years with my children. Maybe it’ll be just the comfort needed for long nights of sickness. Maybe it’ll see me through more life transitions.
For now it’ll stay in my drawer and at the first sign of a cold night I’ll place it over my shoulders and settle into its warmth. It’s a piece of comfort, but also a gift from one mother to another. A gift of love.
**All month I'll be participating in 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes. Each day I'll take some time (sometimes 5 minutes and sometimes a little more) to sit down and write. It's about the discipline of writing each day. It's about listening to the words from within. It's about letting creativity work in me. I'll share my writing at some point during the day on my blog. Thanks for reading.